Thoughts

I feel lost in this world. Like nobody needs me.I see things Im not supposed to see.I feel as if I cant breathe anymore, because I cant tell the difference between them and me.I see such terrible things, things that aloof me in my mind.I cry about things that hurt me, things that are affected by time.I guess im speaking ambivalently, or maybe I dont make sense at all.Sometimes I feel as if I had risen to my peak and now its time to fall.

Rock Bottom

I should have listened
When you told me to smoke weed
But I didn't listen to you
Because I was already high with greed

When they split
And I fell tumbling down
I drank 'till I buckled
'Till I saw you spinning around

He spilled the soda on my head
I reaked of orange drink
As I ran countless blocks
I didnt even stop to think

I may have not known you
But I saw you in my mind
You seemed so dream-like
Cuz you were so hard to find

There at "our" spot
Years before it was shared
I lay all alone
Dreaming of us as a pair

Of course, then I didn't know you
You seemed so infinatly far
But I saved myself from death
Thinking of you patching my scar

Nonetheless when I came home
And I witnessed World War III
I'd think "this would be cruel punishment"
If you would be with me

I started acting out
Attention is all I craved
But I got all the attention I needed
On the auditorium stage I graved

I didn't know what love was
I didn't have any friends
And that was because I was ugly
And didnt follow fashion trends

Now that im paranoid
Everything must be up to date
Cuz im afraid of losing you
Although its really up to fate

But when I made friends
She forced me to go away
All I could think of was death
And I'd never have someone look my way

As I gave up
And looked at the sky
I turned to see you
So I weeped and I cried

It all seemed perfect
But they had to ruin that part
I guess I depend on you
'Cuz I cant be apart

Now that I hit rock bottom
Slipping back to before
Today I felt glad
Because you forgave me once more

Please Forgive Me. For my Love

Im scared to see your face again,

Scared of what you might say

But truley my nethermost fear,

Is that you shall walk away

I'm offering inordinate remorse,

I'm groveling on the ground

Please dont ever let me see,

You laugh and turn around

I'm trying to clean the blood,

hats seeping from your heart

I'm so sorry that my lies,

Tore our lives apart

I know you're no angel,

For you have battered me too

But I should have never reciprocated,

The same hurtful action as you

I dont know if its anger,

Or if its your finished with me

But dont step all over my heart,

Without you i cannot be

Today I saw my past,

Literally saunter right by

After it was gone,

I swore that with you i would try

The task is great

Yes my dear have I avowed,

To mend my broken heart,

Was never once allowed

That day I broke your heart,

Forget I shall never,

But neither shall I forget

That dreadful day I lost you forever

In the Desert

Lying in a desert

Shaded by your love

Secret scandalous lust

Granted from above

Watching as you approach,

Seductive glowing shimmer

Love will be performed

After the sky becomes dimmer

Whispering sweet words,

Craving your delicious ear

Declaring the sun is yours

As I believe you’re near

Envisioning your manly arms,

Tasting your masculine skin

Two bodies are one,

As you make me scream from within

Dancing with me slowly,

Kissing on the sand,

Taking me on a journey

Guiding me with your hand

Moving to the beat of our drum,

Making music all on our own

Loving every single moment

Screaming at a high pitched tone

Songs written on the horizon,

Poems of love in your eyes

Tainting your perfect back,

Arching mine as it dies

Sunrise purple mist,

Thrusting blows of blue

Rolling my eyes back,

As I quiver an “I love you”

Torturous unquenched thirst,

Insatiable trail of joyous tears

Lick my face and hold me tight,

Drain away my monstrous fears

Prancing infinite spinning circles,

As the Nile runs through my veins

Your moans galvanize my senses

Restricted from touching by chains

Silver clouds are left as witnesses,

Approval granted by the rain,

Leaks induced of indulging climax

Suburban innocent body just became urbane

The heat lies above us,

My heart glued back like a collage

But as you seemed to float off

I realized you were nothing but a beautiful mirage