Holidays

HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I would sure want him to climb through my chimney ;) (pun intended ROFL)
This is sure a long way away from my first image of Santa! Since I don't celebrate Christmas because I'm Jewish, I would love for the Jewish Hannukah Harry to look like this =]





But its ok, we get to keep Adam Levine =]

All of this for a step further into life.

You have lost all that belonged to you,
So here, come take what I have.
You are the not worth a gram of dirt,
So here, take the gold I am made of.
You don’t have a place on this planet,
So here, take my place in this world.
You have poor judgment in your 40 years,
So here, take my 19 year old judgment.
All of this for a step further into life.
You don’t have any manners left,
So here, take my etiquette.
You don’t understand life,
So here, go and ruin the lives around you.
You don’t have any friends,
So here, take mine for yourself.
All of this for a step further into life.
You have lost your humanness,
So here, let yourself revolve around me.
You can’t blame yourself for your own mistakes,
So here, I shall take all the blame for you.
All of this for a step further into life.
You think you are in control,
But no, I will take control.
All of this for a step further into life.
You think you are ahead,
But no, you just took 5 steps back.
All of this for a step further into life.
You have lost your meaning,
But no, you blindly gave it to me.
So here, I took it. From you.
Just like you thought I would.
All of this for a step further into life.
You think I have lost this war,
But no, you surrendered.
I have won, and you are nothing.
All of this for a step further into life.
So cry, bitch cry. Cry your defeated cry.
As I write music to your tears.
11-22-2010

Alone

Lately everything I have been doing, is being done alone. I really am alone. I really wish I could go see the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. They finally came to perform again in New York, but I don't have an opportunity to go. I wish I could. If I get the chance, I'll probably end up going alone...

It's been a while. 2:04AM 8/18/10

Looks like i'm the only person writing on my blog now. It seems as if nobody reads these things anymore. I guess one main reason I write on this thing is because I need to find away to relieve my stress. I need to find a place to write things down. When I can't find a way to write things down in my journal, I come here.

Lots of things have happened since I wrote here. He's gone now. He left somewhere for a while, I can't wait for him to come back, but maybe one day the wait will be over. Way before he actually comes back. I mean I kinda miss him. Ok, I really miss him, but maybe things will be different. I just don't want him to come back into my life when I have finally moved on. That hasn't happened completely yet, but one day soon it might.

Most of all, I miss his voice. I still sometimes talk to him on the phone, but its not enough. It's like some big tease, I hear him, but he is so far away. I miss the way he would hug me. I would yell the shit out of him, telling him I don't want him to touch me, I don't want him to hug me, when in reality, that's all I was waiting for. I miss the way we would talk about everything. I love talking to him. I miss the way he would look at me. I miss the way he would kiss me. OH MY GOD. I miss the way he would kiss me. It's like this thirst I cannot quench. This insatiable feeling. Whenever he would hold me and kiss me, we would be lying next to one another so close, but I still didn't have enough of him.

I can never get enough of him. And I guess in the long run, that can one day be a good thing.

Some Poetry

Here is a poem that I enjoyed and thought that maybe you might too.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTuUoOP0uLU (The More Loving One)

Who cares?

Who cares about love anymore nowadays?
I don't think I will ever stop loving you.
I don't need you because I don't care about love.
I don't believe in our love...
Not anymore.
I don't think I will ever stop loving you.
This blog is full of thoughts all about you.
Who reads blogs about love anymore nowadays?
I don't think I will ever stop loving you.
I don't care who reads this because I know you wont,
you do not care about love.
I do not believe in our love...
Not anymore, but sometimes at night I do.
My head is full of poisoned thoughts of you.
But who cares about the thoughts in my head anymore nowadays?
I don't think I will ever stop loving you.
My heart is pumping vile poison.
My brain is thinking loving things.
I don't think I will ever stop loving you.
My fingers are feeling cold skin.
My skin is feeling your fingers.
I don't think I will ever stop loving you.
My eyes don't see you.
My ears do hear you.
I don't think I will ever stop loving you.
But who cares if I am insane anymore, nowadays.
I don't think I will ever stop loving you.
I don't think I will ever stop loving you.

Empty Celebration

It was my friends 19th birthday celebration today.
I was having so much fun but I was still thinking of you.
Every one is holding hands, and kissing, but i'm alone.
Without you.
I just thought of you for a little bit, what it would be like to kiss you.
Again.
What it would be like to be held in your arms.
What it would be like to call you mine.
And let the world know it.
And then the smoke clouded my view...